Silent tears course down my cheeks. I feel like a part of me is gone. The realization of Martin's passing is finally catching up with me. I've never been able to classify anyone as a best friend since I have so many awesome friends, but Martin was definitely one of my best buddies. No matter how much he annoyed me sometimes, it would only make me laugh because of his impish mannerisms. He was the only one that felt comfortable talking with me about stuff that others found embarrassing or uninteresting. I could always count on him to do something crazy or unique with me.
I was shocked and overwhelmed when I heard he had disappeared. Subconsciously I denied it, because it seemed impossible. Martin couldn't be gone. He's always been there. It didn't seem real, and yet I know it's true. In some ways I'm jealous. We talked a lot about problems in life: temptations, relationship issues, struggles with work, family dynamics. Now I'm left to face them alone. Martin was always the one encouraging me to buck up and be a man, to face my problems unashamedly. Now, it's my turn to carry the banner, to pick up where he left off, to encourage others to conquer their trials through the power of Him Who gave Martin his strength.
This post isn't about Martin's death. It isn't me simply rambling about my loss. No, this is a victory post. Yes, I lost a good friend, but his influence will remain with me forever. I'm not sure why some are placed on this earth shorter than others. But I do know why I was privileged to meet Martin during his time here on earth. His life was such an inspiration to me because I saw in him a man who could care less what the world thought of him, but only what God asked of him. Once he was convicted about something, nothing could stop him.
I want to be like that.